Steroids On A Stick

Yo

2008-09-04T21:18:00.001-07:00

Don't know if it's coming back...

So You Think You Can Dance

2008-05-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

So You Think You Can Dance has never interested me...until now. Robert Muraine is insane.

2008-05-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

So far, the response from fans has been mixed, but the song is catchy, so check out:
N.E.R.D. - Everyone Nose

Chris Brown is re-releasing his sophomore album, Exclusive, which will include new tracks such as this one:
Chris Brown - Super Human (feat. Keri Hilson)

It's no surprise that this song, much like the other songs featured in Apple commercials, was what put The Ting Tings on the musical map.
The Ting Tings - Shut Up and Let Me Go

Pretty.Odd. is Pretty.Good.
Panic At The Disco - Mad As Rabbits

You Think You're Cool, But You're Really Not

2008-05-19T14:37:00.002-07:00

WHY YOU THINK YOU’RE COOL: You can access e-mails, high speed internet, and watch videos, all on your phone. Because of course, normal people around you are so f**king boring you can hardly bear actually interacting with them.

WHY YOU’RE NOT COOL: I’ve done some research and "iPhone" is actually a Japanese word that means “something that’s not able to be put in a pocket and instead must be carried in your hand at all times or set on the table in front of you so that everyone around you can see it.”

Haha

2008-05-16T20:31:00.000-07:00

Simon is hilarious

Soulja Girl

2008-05-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

This bitch needs a whipping. As well as whoever raised this animal. Why is she still alive?

Dopplegangers

2008-05-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

Separated by...you know what...

Whoa

2008-05-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty cool video. When it hits the 1 minute mark, you can stop watching because nothing else happens.

Happy Birthday Crispin!

2008-05-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrate the birth of a remarkable individual so cunning and witty that on a resumé, he writes "high degree of hand-eye co-ordination" when he really means to say "really good at counterstrike".

Wish him a happy birthday on facebook: Happy Birthday Crispin!

And check out his baby pictures here.

Get Elected With Some Help From My Friends...

2008-05-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

Daft Hands

2008-05-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

Student Council 2008-2009

2008-05-04T13:13:00.001-07:00

President - Kelly Hobson
Vice President - Wes Lau
Executive Assisant - Evan Chong
Spirit Co-ordinator - Riah Sethna
Treasurer - Herman Yeung
Assistant Treasurer - Rachel Tan
Event Co-ordinator - Carolyn Schmid
Sr. Publicity Officer - Max Tazumi
Jr. Publicity Officer - Marco Ng
SAA Rep - Kathryn Dean
External Affairs Officer - Edwin Lo
Creative Co-ordinator - Jasper Fung
Yearbook Rep - Summer Darbyson or Kristen Chong
Music Rep - TBD
Grade 12 Rep - Ian Campbell
Grade 11 Rep - Candice Jagnandan
Grade 10 Rep - Katie Shim
Grade 9 Rep - TBD
Student Adviser - TBD

I Love Room 1, I Love Room 2...

2008-05-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

Sr. Publicity - Max Tazumi

Elections Recap

2008-05-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

Steroids On A Stick readers showed impeccable insight on elections, voting 4/5 positions correctly.

This year's batch of candidates was difficult to choose between because they were all such excellent candidates. The banners, posters, and videos were great, and each candidate's potential, even greater. After over 300 votes on these polls, here are the predictions versus results:
Spirit Co-ordinator
Riah vs. Rachel

The Spirit Co-ordinator position was always a tough one to gauge. Because both candidates were very different in terms of the crowds, clubs, and activities they were a part of, it seemed like Rachel Hamilton and Riah Sethna were evenly matched. Judging by the cheering for both candidates in the assemblies, both had many suppporters, but it was Riah's take on a catchy song and killer introduction segment that helped her win.
Riah's video coming soon...

Sr. Publicity Officer
Max vs. Daniel vs. Sayon

No one knew who had the upper hand in this race. These candidates were more different than Riah and Rachel. Each represented large portions of the school: Max - the jocks and the loud people, Daniel - the LEADies and music, and finally Sayon - well...you know.
Although Daniel's video was creative and Sayon's was [disturbingly] hilarious, it was clear that help from their friends or milkshakes fell shy in comparison to Max's sense of humour and excessive love for the school (and each and every one of its rooms).
Max's video coming soon...

Jr. Publicity Officer
Jamie vs. Laura vs. Marco

Grade 12 Rep
Ian vs. Kelsey

Both candidates showed immense promise and it was obvious that both of them were very nice people. The difference rested in the hands...or on the head of the candidates. Ian had a fro and as his speech indicated, it had a lot of good uses. I don't know about you, but I'm taking Ian on his promise. I could use a new best friend.

Grade 11 Rep
Elena vs. Steph vs. Candice vs. Phyllis

The favourite to win was obviously Steph. Even students from other grades were banking on Steph (if not Elena), which was a sign that she was doing a good job promoting herself. In a race of four candidates, the grade becomes considerably divided. So the poll was an indicator that either Candice supporters didn't know about the poll and didn't vote, or they don't own computers. Anything goes...and apparently, it went Candice's way. So she was the dark horse candidate. For sure.

A candidate who has run into some difficulty is Kristen Chong. Although things did not go her way when she interviewed for the position of Events Convener, things were looking up when her friend Summer Darbyson offered Kristen the position of Yearbook Rep. Kristen Chong was slated to become the Chief Editor of Yearbook, but teacher adviser Ms. Moore has apparently been very adamant that although any other editor on yearbook (Copy, Grad, Photo, etc.) may have the position of Yearbook Rep as well, Chief Editor may not. Jasper Fung, current Yearbook Rep and Chief Editor (and future Creative Co-ordinator), was lucky to have both positions so why the fuss now?

In conclusion, this year's elections has been surprising and dramatic, but produced a well-rounded council in the end.

Election Polls

2008-04-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Here's a snapshot of the opinions of Steroids On A Stick readers.
Remember this is a poll for who you think will win, NOT who you plan on voting for.

Who do you think will win: Spirit Co-ordinator ( surveys)

Who do you think will win: Sr. Publicity Officer ( surveys)

Who do you think will win: Jr. Publicity Officer ( polls)

The Latest In Plastic Surgery

2008-04-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

Dr. Jasper Fung recently did a revolutionary procedure that changed the lives of two students at MDHS. After attending the LEAD 2 retreat, both Edwin Lo and Shauna James were tired - not only physically, but tired of themselves. After 17 years of staring in the mirror at the same face, it was a mutual agreement that they needed some change. That's where Dr. Fung came into play.

Using his iMac, Dr. Fung drafted what he predicted would be the result of several procedures to meet the specifications set out by Mr. Lo and Miss James. After they gave him the thumbs up, he operated on them, pushing the medical envelope.

What seemed like just another group of typical patients unsatisfied with their appearances turned out to be a duo of daredevils, searching for a thrill. Instead of simply reconstructing their faces, Edwin and Shauna asked to switch faces.

The startling results are depicted on the left. Families of both patients told reporters they were very happy with the results.

Update

2008-04-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

Not much has been happening on Steroids On A Stick because all writers have been busy doing their own thing. To fill in the gap, check out this cool but slightly creepy "moving portrait": Click here.

Introducing A New Series: An Exclusive Look

2008-04-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

Exclusives about anything always seem to attract people; shoes, naked photos of celebrities, or even non-celebrities for that matter. So, Steroids On A Stick decided that it was time for a new series: something to keep your juicy ears satisfied.

Here, is the first ever released video of "An Exclusive Look," beginning the series with an in-depth analysis of Jackie's Closet. We reveal astonishing things that we guarantee will knock your socks off*.

*Please note that SOAS is not responsible if your incompetent socks do not knock off.

Joke of the Day: 51 Days!

2008-03-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts even more loudly in chant. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.

The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in just 51days!"

Public Display of Affection

2008-03-27T13:56:00.001-07:00

Sparks that create monstrous fires are generally a bad thing. (Unless of course they are burning that bitch who stabbed you in the back.) Sparks however that are the product of a romance kindling are a completely different story.

Rumour had it that a relationship between Keane Tan and Jacqueline Chiu was more than just a "good friendship," as Ms. Chiu's publicist put it. The two were often seen in dark corners together. Despite the fact that Mr. Tan's lips often looked like a paler version of the lipstick Ms. Chiu was wearing at the time, the pair continued to definitively deny the rumours.

But on this glorious day, Steroids On A Stick has again discovered the truth, and first too! An anonymous source leaked that the pair had decided to become upfront with their relationship. There would be no press release because let's face it, we don't really care that much, although there would be a definite statement being made.

One of our reporters rushed down EnglishHall Lane until he came across the number 45. The two subjects were in the middle of a conversation. A group had already gathered and were viewing the statement intensely. Lawn chairs had been brought and a couple of overnight tents were seen. Quick-thinking (Like a SOAS reporter always is) he caught a part of their conversation on video. Both Jacqueline and Keane seemed to be using fake names (Jay and Daisy) as you will see in the video. But we have confirmed that those were simply aliases. "Jay and Daisy are what they call each other when they are extremely horny," an insider informed us. Not that it's any of our business, but then again when has that ever stopped us?

This video is a clear statement of their relationship to the public. We have provided subtitles for those unfortunate enough to be unable to decipher what the pair is saying. But be warned, the P.D.A. portrayed is shocking. Mr. Tan was seen delicately handling Ms. Chiu's face (Which has been reported to look different - "The shape of the nose does not look like it has been broken. Work has definitely be done on Ms. Chiu's face, although not very well," says Dr. Pay, a plastic surgery specialist.)

And being the thoughtful people we are, it is warned that once this P.D.A. has taken place, the volume of your speakers should be set to low. Your eardrums have been warned. But still enjoy, and feel free to laugh as loudly as you would like. Ms. Chiu's face is that funny.

You Sucjk at Photoshop

2008-03-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

Comedy nowadays usually comes off as a failure or someone tying way too hard. You Suck At Photoshop is an ingenious series of videos that are like tutorials, except actually enjoyable to watch. The videos fuse a hilarious mix of the narrator's personal problems and actual Photoshop techniques. Here's the third video in the series:

How To Be

2008-02-27T17:14:00.001-08:00

Some people don't really need help, but here's a how-to video anyway.
How To Be Nerd

How To Be Gangster

Montag Reaches New Low With "Higher"

2008-02-16T11:28:00.000-08:00

Heidi Montag's video "Higher" is plain bad. But this version of the video is loaded with inserts that really capture the essence of the video. Here's a highlight:

"Experts estimate this video's budget climbed into the tens of dollars."

Jackie High-jacks DECA Duo

2008-02-11T18:43:00.000-08:00

Steroids On A Stick has been without news for a while now, but new pictures from the paparazzi revealed some startling secrets no respectable website could resist writing about. These recently uploaded pictures depict Jacqueline I-Don't-Wear-Pants Chiu stuffing her outfit with pillows to make her look more curvaceous. An anonymous freelance photographer snapped these shots as she was getting ready for school one morning (one of which is on the left). We've heard of stuffing your bra with tissue, but stuffing your dress with multiple pillows? That's a new one.

Furthermore, Jackie attended the annual DECA competition today and upon arriving, it was clear she didn't quite understand the concept of "business attire", dressed in a short short short dress and tights. Unfortunately for her, she underestimated the DECA officials, as they were quick to deduct points from her team for her inappropriate attire. Her teammate, Kristen Chong was seen filled with rage, flipping tables and yelling at Jacqueline for her stupidity.

Jackie really needs some sort of stylist. Preferably a nun.

Soccer With Binoculars

2008-02-02T18:25:00.001-08:00

Stylin'

2008-01-31T20:47:00.000-08:00

SOAS!

2008-01-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

Today, we introduce an important addition to the site: the Seal of Absolute Seriousness.

Whenever you see the Seal of Absolute Seriousness on any article from now on, it means that the Steroids On A Stick article is based on truth.

Scientology is the Religion of Star Trek Fans

2008-01-30T14:35:00.000-08:00

Tom Cruise is probably the most popular ~~wackos~~ Scientologist thanks to countless interviews and news segments. I've always wondered what Scientology really was and today, I finally learned that it is everything I could have ever imagined it would be, and so so much more.

Here are some excerpts from the story of Scientology:

"75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who was in charge of 76 planets in our part of the galaxy, including our own planet Earth, whose name at that time was Teegeeack."

"All of the planets Xenu controlled were over-populated by, on average, 178 billion people. Social problems dictated that Xenu rid his sector of the galaxy of this overpopulation problem, so he developed a plan."

"Xenu sent out Tax Audit demands to all these billions of people. As each one entered the audit centers for the income tax inspections, the people were seized, held down and injected with a mixture of alcohol and glycol, and frozen. Then, all 1.4 trillion of these frozen people were put into spaceships that looked exactly like DC8 airplanes, except that the spaceships had rocket engines instead of propellers."

"Xenu's entire fleet of DC8-like spaceships then flew to planet Earth, where the frozen people were dumped in and around volcanoes in the Canary Islands and the Hawaiian Islands. When Xenu's Air Force had finished dumping the bodies into the volcanoes, hydrogen bombs were dropped into the volcanoes and the frozen space aliens were destroyed."

"The spirits of the aliens were then taken to huge multi-plex cinemas that Xenu had previously instructed his forces to build on Teegeack. In these movie theatres the spirits had to spend many days watching special 3D movies..."

lol.

That is all.

A Whole New World...For Real

2008-01-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

Nick Pitera, some random guy off youtube, has a remarkable vocal range. If you've ever seen Aladdin, you would know that the song A Whole New World is a duet with Aladdin and Jasmine. However, Nick Pitera needs no female counterpart. Here is his rendition of "A Whole New World" featuring him and his alter ego.

With over a million views, Pitera's video has inspired many to give the song a try as well. Below is an example of an attempt, which can only be described as an epic and monumental success. This individual is possibly one of the greatest talents to have graced Youtube in a while. Check out the reaction of the person who happens to walk in on the recording session about 1 minute into the video.

Holiday

2007-12-24T16:28:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas!
See you in the new year!

SAC Holiday Video 2007....It's Great!

2007-12-22T16:56:00.000-08:00

Here's the SAC Holiday Video 2007 as shown at the holiday assemblies, written and directed by John Cullen.

Parodies

2007-12-20T17:42:00.000-08:00

If you haven't seen the video of the girl form South Caroline answering a question in the Miss Teen USA pageant, prepare yourself for a good laugh. Watch her flub her way through a question: Here

Make sure you watch the original video in the link above before you watch this parody, or else you'll be like WTF?!

Supergood

2007-12-18T17:53:00.000-08:00

If you have not yet had the pleasure of watching Superbad, you are missing out on a crucial life experience. Here is a hilarious scene from the movie:

Judge Judy Kicks Ass

2007-12-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Watch this video of an eBay scammer get completely destroyed by Judge Judy

Beautiful Liar

2007-12-16T19:30:00.001-08:00

Check out Beyoncé before and after some photoshopping:

10-Year-Old Arrested For Cutting Food With Knife

2007-12-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

Marion County, Florida - A 10-year-old girl at Sunrise Elementary School was charged with possession of a weapon on school property, which is considered a felony. Although the student didn't threaten anyone with the knife, school employees confiscated the knife and contacted police. The girl was arrested soon after and brought to Juvenile Assessment Center.

Gimme More

2007-12-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

Chingy's 4th album, "Hate It or Love It", is coming out in 4 days. Since his debut, sales have been declining; his debut sold 3 mil, his sophomore sold 1.2 mil, and his third only sold 500k. Hopefully, this collaboration with Ludacris and Bobby Valentino spur some decent sales.

Check out his new single, Gimme Dat.

Gimme Dat (feat. Ludacris & Bobby Valentino) - Chingy

Download it right thurr, right thurr: Download

If Facebook Says So, It Must Be True

2007-12-14T20:58:00.000-08:00

Adrian Ang and Katherine Tran
are officially having sex...or as they call it: "going out".
- December 16, 2007 update -
Sources report that Adrian Ang's girl-attracting techniques Steroids On A Stick reported on back in February were what really won Miss Tran over.

Click to see the picture that sealed the deal: Yum!

"I'm Sorry," Teacher Says

2007-12-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

What is better than tattling on other people? Tattling on yourself!

Ms H, who has only been teaching the class for ONLY 2 weeks since she was away with her newborn kids, thought she would satisfy her anger by bringing the "issue" to the principal's office. However, what she somehow forgot was that she called a student an asshole and threw his stuff out of the classroom.

But like all grown up issues get resolved, they both had to say sorry to each other.

Haha...what are we? 3 years old?

Unfortunately, Chris has to continue attending Anthrospazzagy to get the credit despite Ms H's very tempting offer.

Anthropologist Bad With People

2007-12-12T19:20:00.000-08:00

You would think that the teacher of Anthropology - the science of people - would be good with people. But of course, Markham District High School has standards: nice dull color schemes, fantastically non-existent air conditioning, delicious lead water, and finally, the most uninteresting, unkind, and boring teachers^*. On Tuesday, December 11th, Chris Brown sat innocently at his assigned seat in Anthropology. Despite his studious efforts to maintain control over his bladder, it was clear he had to go. Logically, he asked his teacher, whom we shall refer to as Ms. H, "Can I go to the washroom?" Normally, teachers respond with "Yes", "No", or "I don't know. Can you?"

Ms. H said, "What's with the face?"

"Well it takes years to get it to look this good," he replied. What else can you say to a question like that? What's with the face? "Well, a large jaguar attacked me on my way to school..."

Chris left the room to visit the washroom as he had requested. Immediately after he left, Ms H asked the class, "Is Chris always such an asshole?"

Silence swept over the classroom. Until Ms H went over to Chris' desk, grabbed his stuff, and fiercely threw it out of the room.

Ms H reportedly spoke to Chris upon his return to the class, saying something along the lines of "I don't want you in my class anymore. Don't come to class anymore and I'll give you the credit."

Specifics regarding what mark Chris would receive or exactly what Ms H meant by "What's with the face?" (perhaps it was a philosophical question) have yet to be uncovered. But you can be certain that as usual, Steroids On A Stick will pounce on the story, and report to its dedicated readers.

(This article is completely based on fact.)

*Please note that there are some good teachers at MDHS. Some.

Introducing....

2007-12-10T19:00:00.000-08:00

The first ever Steroids On A Stick original video entitled, Our Fuzzy Friends. This video stars: Chris Brown, Dave Hou, Riah Sethna, Adrian Ang, Lawson Mann, Dan Porter, Hannah Leznoff, and an important political message from Kathryn Dean.

Supporting Reader Diversity

2007-12-04T20:47:00.001-08:00

For the sickos who have happened to watch 2 Girls, 1 Cup, check out this "film review" that brings greater depth to this "modern work." For those who don't know what it is, the following review will only fill your mind with unimaginable horrors that will keep you awake at night:

Film Review

Edit: December 10, 2007
Apparently, a new video entitled "2 Girls, 1 Finger" has emerged, and is reportedly much worse than the first video. I don't know about the Chinese Zodiac, but I think this year is the year of the twisted people.

Quote of That Day

2007-12-04T19:33:00.000-08:00

"u know what i realize...in justin timberlakes concert, he barely sings....
he just makes high pitch sounds...
the background singers would like sing the whole song....and the at random times he would be like OOOOO AHHHHH LEMME HEAR YOU"

- Edwin Lo

Be Nice To Old Ladies

2007-12-03T20:24:00.000-08:00

See how this old lady responds to some impatient driver. Good stuff:

Go Elf Yourself

2007-11-29T17:03:00.001-08:00

In light of the upcoming holidays, Steroids On A Stick suggests that you go Elf Yourself!

Everybody's doing it. You will instantly become popular.

Example: Riah Sethna, Kristen Dewar, Brooke Ostrom, and Laura Tatham were the library nerds no one notices. But now, since they elfed themselves, they've become some of the most popular kids at MDHS.

Check out these amusing videos of the elves dancing:
Riah Sethna, Kristen Dewar, Brooke Ostrom, and Laura Tatham
Chris Brown, Geoff Calder, Markus Miller, and Jordan Mustard

Jackie's Mantra

2007-11-26T16:10:00.001-08:00

Greg Banks... Tyra's Brother (or Sister?)

2007-11-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

Ms Darbyson, a freelance reporter/photographer, sent in these pictures, exclusively released only on Steroids On A Stick.

Greg thinks he's fabulous. And if you disagree, he'll tell you to talk to the hand, so don't bother.

For the full effect on Hitchon's gloriousness, click here.

A Hearty Laugh

2007-11-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

Classic Celebrity Jeopardy. It's a good laugh through and through. Bjork is the star of this video.

Crank That Soulja Boy

2007-11-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

To everyone at MDHS who thinks they know how to do the soulja boy dance: you guys have nothing on the youngin's in this video...

Slimming Down For The Runway

2007-11-04T19:09:00.000-08:00

The picture on the left depicts the new looks of Evan Chong, and his two new biotches, Jacqueline Chiu (alter ego: Mercedes) and Emily Carter (alter ego: Carter 2 U). Evan Chong, an internationally un-renown designer released his line of evening wear on November 3rd starring both Mercedes and Carter 2 U. Although the new line is expected to fail miserably, the picture our reporters snapped of them is definitely worth a million bucks.

Overheard in New York #2

2007-11-04T16:25:00.000-08:00

Black woman: Money for the homeless? [Blonde chicks walk by, ignoring her.] What? You think you're better than us? Fuckin' white bitches!

Blonde, as she and friends run away: Oh, please, like this is about race. I don't care if she's black or white -- I'm not giving her any fucking money to support her charity. Also known as a crack habit.

(www.overheardinnewyork.com)

Overheard in New York

2007-07-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

Girl: I think that dog is staring at me...
Guy: Don't flatter yourself.

(Overheard in New York is a website that posts things that contributers/spies hear while out and about in New York. Funny stuff: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/)

PostSecret

2007-07-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. New postcards are posted every Sunday. http://www.postsecret.com/

Nomadic Infantree Marches Into Wardrobes

2007-07-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

In 2006, Hollister and Abercrombie exploded into the MDHS scene, giving face to the prep-surf culture. Now, two entrepreneurs are ready to give fashion a try and shake things up.

Established in 2005, Nomadic Infantree garners an eclectic group of influences, ranging from the lifestyle in California to Tokyo. Refusing to sell out, owners Andrew Choe (right) and Liam Goslett (left) distribute their clothes in limited quantities, saying they will never sacrifice style for quantity.

In their self-written description posted on their facebook group, they explain that the name Nomadic Infantree describes them on a deeper level. The word "nomadic" is derived from the historic culture of the nomads, who are known to be migratory, never settling permanently. The owners write, "This relates to our style that it’s always changing; it’s never repetitive but rather innovative." The "tree", on the other hand, represents a "down to earth calling." Is that really all there is to it?

A member of the facebook group posted a link to a google search, in which they searched "LRG Infantree". It turns out, the urban clothing line, Lifted Research Group (better known as LRG), which both Choe and Goslett are familiar with released several products under what appears to be a sub-line, LRG Infantree.

Nevertheless, Nomadic Infantree is on its own creative frequency and both owners are dedicated to their work. For each person who questions its originality, there are 50 others who praise each subsequent released design as the best one they've seen so far. Furthermore, their connections have helped them extend their market outside MDHS as well.

On June 26th, they released the exciting news that their first batch of clothes, which included the designs "The Nation", "It's A Bright Day", and arguably their most popular shirt, "Going Out With Class" (right).

Considering that Choe and Goslett are taking Fashion at MDHS next year, and the commendable sales of their first 3 releases, we can all expect to see some great things in the very near future.

For orders, contact Nomadic.Infatree@gmail.com.

Rihanna Fires Out Summer Songs

2007-07-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

Rihanna's first single, Umbrella, blew up and reached #1 in 16 countries around the world. It was even covered by indie artist, Scott Simons.

Her second single, Shut Up and Drive, which was full of subtle innuendoes, didn't chart as successfully as her first, but Rihanna released the video to her third single, Don't Stop The Music. Check it outttttttt

Or just the song...

If you listen really closely, you'll hear Michael Jackson's famous "Hee Hee Hee"s in the background of the song. Rihanna's song "Don't Stop The Music" samples Michael Jackson's song, "Wanna Be Startin' Something" from his album Thriller. She probably paid a lot in royalties for something that is hardly noticeable.

Quote of That Day

2007-07-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

"I'm fluent in Cantonese. I also understand Mandarin. And when I was younger, I took Japanese every night in the form of anime."

- Mr. Leung
Chemistry teacher at MMHS (and summer school teacher at UHS)

For Your Amusement...

2007-07-06T23:43:00.001-07:00

Another Anonymous Commenter strikes again!

For your amusement, the commenter commented on the article, "Kids Say The Darnedest Things".

Click here to read what the commenter wrote, and to read our response.

Get ready... this one's intense.

English With Bill: Intense English Lesson

2007-07-06T19:33:00.001-07:00

This is just like English With Gill... except you'll actually learn something.

Today's Lesson:
The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.

Adults Say The Darnedest Things...

2007-07-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

Kids say the darnedest things sometimes. And adults do too...except poeple like Bill Cosby don't always make a show about it.

Here are some funny things adults have said in court:

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteen.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
—————————————————
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
—————————————————
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
—————————————————
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
—————————————————
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
—————————————————
Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
—————————————————
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
—————————————————
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
—————————————————
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
—————————————————
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
—————————————————
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
—————————————————
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
—————————————————
Q: Did he kill you?
—————————————————
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
—————————————————
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
—————————————————
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
—————————————————
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
—————————————————
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
—————————————————
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
————————————————–
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
—————————————————
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
—————————————————
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
—————————————————
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
—————————————————
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
—————————————————
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
—————————————————
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
—————————————————
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Rest In Peace, Al Wong

2007-06-26T17:36:00.000-07:00

Join the Facebook Memorial Group
Read What Happened

Gary Loun's Secret Twin Revealed

2007-06-26T15:15:00.000-07:00

Except, Gary doesn't have a twin. But if he did, (s)he would probably look a lot like him - kinda like the way an unknown "Rion Chow" looks a lot like Gary Loun. Take a look for yourself:

The only known connection between the two are that both attend Markham District High School.

The Evolution of Serene Wong

2007-06-21T17:02:00.000-07:00

People usually have their own thing. They want to be special, unique, and all that bull. Recently, SOAS photographers snapped a couple pictures of students at the MDHS Music Banquet and noticed that a certain individual's film was rather repetitious. Confirmed by close friends, it appears as though Serene Wong's boyfriend, Samuel Lee, has inspired her to adopt the Pucker Face. Although her form is now close to perfection, SOAS caught rare photos of her not-so-great attempts at the Pucker Face. Here are her top 8 with commentary:

Throwback To "Vote, Don't Hope"

2007-06-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

Remember on May 4th when you crowded into the Girl's Gym to watch election videos and speeches? SOAS has an exclusive on several of the winning videos. We have Kevin Yeung's, Edwin Lo's, a never-seen-before uncut version of Wesley Lau's, and Dan Porter's. Enjoy!

Kevin Yeung - Cullen Productions

Edwin Lo - Scott Film Productions / Lo Pui Yin Produckshins
"I Like Edwin"

Wesley Lau - Scott Film Productions
"Eau De Wes"

Click Here for the edited version of Eau De Wes shown during the assembly.

Dan Porter - D-RoC Productions

Congratulations

2007-06-14T18:55:00.000-07:00

Dave Hou and Kelly Ng celebrate their one-year anniversary!

Kristen Chong, on the other hand, sadly remains single.

Love.

Contest Winner

2007-06-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

The winner for the Best Face Contest has been chosen. After thousands of entries and several hundred grueling hours of narrowing it down, we finally chose the winner. Congratulations....

Andrea Jones!

Just kidding. There was no contest. But if there was a Best Face Contest, Ms Jones would win hands down. Click Here for the full picture.

SOAS likes your face, Andrea!

Send funny pictures to steroidsonastick@gmail.com!

English With Gill: Retire

2007-06-13T15:08:00.001-07:00

This time, we don't need Gill to define the word "retire". We can do it ourselves:

"retire: (verb) to withdraw (a machine, ship, etc.) permanently from its normal service, usually for scrapping; take out of use."

As you may have noticed, there haven't been many English with Gill's recently.

SOAS executives and Gillian Stanwick sat down for a chat about the future and puppies (the puppies were Stanwick's idea). SOAS executives expressed their views on expanding and maximizing Steroids On A Stick. Stanwick and executives discussed future ideas and words eligible for defining, and negotiated an employment contract. However, executives and Gillian Stanwick could not come to an agreement. While SOAS was willing to negotiate a raise, Stanwick had greater plans in mind - namely, a SOAS-bought mansion, making the whole website pink, and $50, 000, 000 to get her to stay an SOAS correspondent and writer. The discussion quickly elevated to an argument and ultimately, Stanwick decided to leave SOAS to pursue other endeavors.

We are sad to say that as of today, Gillian Stanwick is officially no longer with SOAS and therefore, English With Gill will be discontinued.

Fret not! Cry not! SOAS is in search of a new correspondent and column to fill the void. Exclusive auditions and interviews are being held worldwide as we speak and we've even taken the time to plant a clue on this very article as to who is a favourite to replace Gillian Stanwick.

If you have any ideas, email them to steroidsonastick@gmail.com, where we also accept hatemail, fanmail, and females.

Quotation of That Day

2007-06-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

"Indie.....Oh, you mean indie as in Indian?"

-Flora Chu

Wait For The Ending

2007-06-09T20:49:00.001-07:00

Watch the whole video to see your unique hilarious ending. Each person's ending is different, so continue watching until you see the end, and then post a comment and tell everyone what your ending was.

The Skinny on the One We Call Jackie

2007-06-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

When we first got whiff of this news, we heard it was classified, to be kept on the DL, so of course, we couldn't resist putting it up here for the world to see. Great news deserves a great audience: that's a fact we learned in kindergarten.

There have been numerous anonymous phone calls coming into our hotline reporting one Jacqueline Chiu getting skinnier and skinnier each day. There have been no accusations of anorexia or bulimia, but there is definite tension in the air whenever Ms. Chiu enters a cafeteria or a bathroom.

Several attempts to contact her agent have been unsuccessful, but SOAS soon found a picture comparing her figure on February 28, 2005 to her figure on May 25, 2007. Oddly enough, she stood in the exact same pose, wearing the exact same thing, around the exact same people in both pictures. It was the circulating of the picture above that seemed to provoke even more attention to Jacqueline's skinniness. Pay direct attention to her arm and the protruding bones in her hand. Either she is trying to imitate Nicole Richie, or is losing some serious weight. There are no solid facts to back this story up, just whispers that follow her in the hall:

"She's so skinny! She has no stomach!" one of our reporters overheard late one night.

"I hear she's had plastic surgery, in Milan," another commented.

"Where does she get the money from? I heard that she secretly sells fake Prada bags on the black market to pay for all her clothes" a third remarked.

Now we all know that SOAS just can't resist a rumour, a scandal or even something that doesn't come near the truth, but we are confident in saying these three people are complete idiots. You can't always believe what you hear, or see, unless of course your source is us.

Don't worry Ms. Chiu, the accusations will stop soon enough, we at SOAS know what's truth and what's not. We expose the truth and twist the lies, but are sure that you are healthy, do not have an eating disorder and would never ever buy one of those disguisting, fake Prada bags.

Introducing SOAS' Newest Journalist: Shirley A. Scandal

2007-06-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

Confused? You don't have bad memory! The article, ~~"Beef: Steak or a Hamburger"~~ (the article has been removed) was originally signed by a mysterious Lady Steroid. Now, that name is nowhere to be found! Who is this vanished Lady Steroid?

A bird? A plane? Sir Steroid's wife? An elephant? A tablecloth?

Any of those answers would have been very close. Here's the story behind the change:

Always trying to maintain a cutting edge image and report the most cutting edge news, SOAS went out in search for new talent. It was on this mission that SOAS execs bumped into female who claimed her name was Lady Steroid. After an impromptu interview and reviewing some of her sample work, we hired her. However, SOAS has very little tolerance for secrets, so we sought out to uncover what her real name was.

Throughout a grueling nine hundred and sixty-six hours of interrogation, we finally discovered her true identity. But that's not the interesting part. The interesting part was the process we went through to get to her true identity.

At first, she tried to pass as a bird, only cawing whenever we asked her what her real name was. Next, clearly having realized the bird disguise wasn't convincing, she tried a more convincing disguise: she impersonated a plane. With arms spread out, she began imitating the sound of a propeller.

She must've been discouraged by our unconvinced faces as she quickly changed her story and claimed to be Sir Steroid's wife. The only problem was that she looked me in the eyes and said "I am Sir Steroid's wife" as though she had not realized that I was in fact Sir Steroid in the flesh. So that was a bust. But nevertheless, she didn't give up, quickly running around the room having obviously switched identities once again. She held one arm in front of her face and waved it up and down, imitating an elephant's trunk. But despite the rather enthusiastic performance, we were once again, unconvinced.

Her final attempt at trickery was perhaps the most commendable. After we shot down her first four fake identities, she sat there for several moments, as if she was pondering her next attempt at fooling us. Suddenly, she jumped up and laid down on the table, face-up. We didn't really know what she was trying to pretend to be, but the best guess we had to offer was "tablecloth".

Although she was fully committed to her last effort, she obviously had forgotten one crucial thing that her face-up position revealed: she was wearing a name tag.

PRESENTING Shirley A. Scandal's 1st Article - Beef: Steak or a Hamburger?

2007-06-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, Shirley A. Scandal's first article had to be removed by "request". However, we haven't left you with nothing. Enjoy this picture!

Thursday, June 7, 2007
Click Here for Shirley A. Scandal's second 1st article!

Even More Stalker-Like Than Facebook

2007-06-01T17:10:00.001-07:00

Steroids On A Stick wouldn't be here if it weren't for its devoted readers. As our gift to them, we're going to share information about them to the general public! SCORE, eh? (It's actually kinda interesting)

51.9% of visitors stay for no more than 5 seconds. These are probably the people who are checking to see if there are any new posts and sadly discover that there are none, leaving the site abruptly in tears. 7.4% of visitors stay for 5 minutes, while 3.7% stay for 5-20 minutes. Most shockingly however, 37% of visitors stay for over 1 hour.

42% of viewers use Firefox 2.0.0, 30% use Internet Explorer 6.0, and 20% use Internet Explorer 7.0. 3% use Firefox 1.5.0, 3% use Safari 1.2, and finally, 2% use Firefox 2.0 (which is apparently different from Firefox 2.0.0)

84% use Microsoft XP, 11% use Microsoft Vista, 2% use an unknown/unrecognized system (not shady at all), 2% use Microsoft 98, and 1% use Microsoft 2000.

On any given day, 48.4% of viewers are visiting for the first time, 29% are visiting for their first to fifth time, 12.9% are visiting for their sixth to tenth time, and 9.7% have visited more than ten times.

Now amaze all your friends with your extensive knowledge of SOAS readers! The chicks really dig it, I swear...

He Still Bangs

2007-05-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone has their guilty pleasures. However, some are much more unexpected than others. Let us start by describing a high school student.

This individual is very leet at games such as Warcraft and Counterstrike (or CS). He enjoys heavier types of rock and is passionate about smiting those who listen to soft rock. Desmond

One ordinary Art class sometime last week, it was reported that the individual in question, out of nowhere, confessed his undying appreciation for Ricky Martin's music. A classmate recalls the person saying "I just love the Latino groove!" The classmate, utterly frightened, began to run away, but not before he heard the Martin-fan declare, "Every time I hear his music, I feel like dancing without pants on!"

Ricky Martin's most recent musical project, his "comeback" album, Life (released in 2005), has taken nearly 2 years to sell a measly 200,000 copies. However, the self-titled album that helped Ricky Martin explode into the English music industry in 1999 sold over 660,000 in its first week of release, going on to sell 7,000,000 in the US alone and 17,000,000 worldwide.

More importantly, the first album fostered our mysterious fan's favourite song by Ricky Martin. Ever. Livin' La Vida Loca peaked at #1 in the US, the UK, and Latvia, and was eventually covered by Eddie Murphy and Antonio Banderas for the movie Shrek 2.

To find out who proudly proclaims his love for Ricky Martin's music, hover over the picture below!

If the hovering doesn't work, click here to find out who he is.

Shocked, right?

SOAS Music

2007-05-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

Steroids On A Stick's music recommendations of the month of May have been moved here.

Learn A Trick, TODAY!

2007-05-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gone to a talent show talentless? Your troubles end today! All you need is one package of crackers and the gist of what whistling looks like.

To start, open the package of crackers and put one in your mouth. Chew but don't make the crackers soggy. If you're an individual who is particularly talented in salivation, you might have a bit of trouble keeping the crackers relatively dry. After chewing the cracker a bit, pick a victim/volunteer. Face them and try to whistle. If you followed the steps perfectly, you should end up with a rewarding reaction from your target.

Here is a semi-instructional video, exclusively filmed to enlighten SOAS readers:

Yes, Snow (Hey Oh) by the Red Hot Chili Peppers is playing the background.

INTENSE DEAL

2007-05-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

(Retail price, $10.50. Click Here for link to product. Note that prices on ae.com are American)

It's Official

2007-05-04T12:42:00.000-07:00

Unlike Jay-Z's comeback, which is either very flaccid or non-existent, Student Council 2007-2008 is official. In case you somehow missed the results, remember to say congratulations to:

President: Kevin Yeung
Vice-President: Wes[ley] Lau
Events Co-ordinator: Amanda Turner
Executive Assistant: Evan Chong
Spirit Co-ordinator: Dan Porter
Treasurer: Harrison Griffiths
Assistant Treasurer: Herman Yeung
Sr. Officer of Publicity: Steph Ramataur
Jr. Officer of Publicity: Edwin Lo
SAA Rep: Kathryn Dean
Yearbook Rep: Jasper Fung
Music Rep: (Interviewed in September)
Gr. 12 Rep: Robert Hoy
Gr. 11 Rep: Laura Tatham
Gr. 10 Rep: Brian Belman
Gr. 9 Rep: (Interviewed in September)
External Affairs Officer: (Interviewed in September)
Student Advisor: (Interviewed in September)

And we commend Jamie Haldenby, Eric Koehn, Keltie Shields, Doria Keung, Anthony Damtsis, Nikeshia Seerathan, Carolyn Schmid, Vivek Morzaria (who happens to now be SAA VP), Andrea Nunez, Danielle Zafirovski, Shannon Brown, and Shan Arora (and JJ) for their efforts and great campaigns.

English With Gill: niggler

2007-04-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

The word Gill was asked to define was niggler.

Gill said: "i wrote something...but i deleted it...lol pick a different word"

It actually means: "to criticize, esp. constantly or repeatedly, in a peevish or petty way; carp or
To be preoccupied with trifles or petty details."

Relationship On The Rocks

2007-03-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

Rumours have been flying around that Ian Campbell and Kristen Chong hooked up over the weekend, during which both celebrities were at the legendary YRPC conference. Though this has yet to be confirmed by both parties, whatever relationship is, was, or would've been is definitely on the rocks. Recent footage of the couple fighting raised speculation but Chong's publicist (who happens to be herself since she can't afford to hire one) quickly denied any relationship or any feud whatsoever. On the other hand, Campbell's publicist has remained suspiciously silent.

For the squeamish who do not wish to view the 2-second video, here is a summary of the footage: Campbell is spotted kneeing Kristen Chong in the crotch. She responds by saying, "Whoa man, whoa", which, according to close friends of the dietarian, is her way of saying "Not now! Let's get frisky at home!"

Titillated Lyall Picks Vaseline

2007-03-10T20:30:00.000-08:00

Word on the street is that local hockey star wannabe Scott Lyall turns to lube to soothe. At some random hockey excursion - game, practice, or checking out old men; we're not sure - Lyall's "pooper", as he likes to call his buttocks, began experiencing searing unbearable pains of a thousand suns. As we all know, the only solution to any pain is to add lubrication. In realization of this, Lyall was more than overjoyed, having been given the opportunity to call upon his "team trainer" to lube him up.

All reports suggest a disturbing but rather sensual encounter between the "team trainer" and Scott Lyall. Team members claim to have heard grunts, moans, and screams - all three of which they would have preferred not to hear at all.

Vaseline specialist, Tolga Aggul, was confident when he told SOAS reporters that the so-called "Vaseline", with which the team trainer and Lyall shared a tender moment, was actually a different type of lubrication, which authorities have determined was bought online through the website www.bettersex.com. Also found at the scene of the crime were a set of handcuffs and an assortment of long fruits and vegetables such as pickles and bananas (on which we won't comment).

When reporters did some background research, they were surprised to find that the "team trainer" had been reported several times for harassment by his assistant, Nicholas Matsoukas. Nicholas Matsoukas has yet to comment on this discovery, but we assume it is because he, like Chris Brown and Conor McBride, are currently "taking it up the ass" in a rape-like fashion.

The "team trainer", whom we will continue to refer to with quotation marks as his occupation is a bit sketchy, is unknown and his identity has been up for debate. Evan Lewis has been listed as a "person of interest" in the investigation and when he and Scott Lyall were visited for questioning respectively, they had both allegedly ran away from home for no apparent reason - not suspicious at all. Their whereabouts have yet to be determined but authorities have sent flyers to all gay bar hot spots in hope of settling this case once and for all.

Ancestry

2007-02-09T15:01:00.000-08:00

It turns out Adrian is part hobbit and we have the picture to prove it. Friends started gteting suspicious after his height started gradually decreasing - a process which most partial hobbits go through at the age of 15½. The process' slang name is hobbitifying and usually begins with an increasing darkness in the halluxes and hirsutism of the toes. SOAS scientists are still researching the mutation. However, all can agree that this publicized photo, which reaks of desperation, is most likely Ang's final attempt to pick up chicks. We say: Try again.

Quote of That Day

2006-12-10T11:29:00.000-08:00

"I had a few words with my wife and she had a few paragraphs with me."

- Anonymous

The 5 Golden Books

2006-12-09T20:48:00.000-08:00

4 full-size copies and 1 flawed half-size copy of a collection of Steroids On A Stick's best articles was printed today. They are highly rare and highly valuable and will be on sale very soon.
It is entitled "Issue 1" because it's creative like that. The cover will be revealed on Monday, December 11, 2006.

The Next Kurt Cobain

2006-11-28T19:16:00.000-08:00

Lover's Latrine

2006-11-19T16:14:00.000-08:00

Just when things seemed like they couldn't get more unconventional, kinda-long-time couple Kelly Ng and David Hou (who were recently spotted at Kelsey's where they had dinner) reportedly co-ordinate in more ways than one. Not only do they co-ordinate the colour of their clothes, but they now allegedly have synchronized the time at which they go to the washroom and sign in on MSN Messenger. Sure, they're inseparable; but who would've thought it would get this far?
To make matters even more interesting, a reliable source claims that they make phone calls according to their birthdays. Records show a call that went from 12:19 am to 7:30 am. Those numbers translate into December 19th and July 30th, which are reportedly Dave and Kelly's birthdays respectively.
Whatever they think of next, Steroids On A Stick will be here to report about it.

Writer's Block

2006-11-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

Quotation of That Day

2006-11-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything."

- Bill Lyon

Eduardo: An Exposé

2006-11-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

Is the exchanged student really as innocent as he seems? Sure, he isn't entirely fluent in English and he's won over the hearts of several girls at Markham District High School with a glance. But is there something behind this uncertainty as to whom Eduardo really is? Steroids On A Stick has trailed the exchange student for a month through an undercover reporter who just recently reported back.

Eduardo, whom seems to be a little more aware of his physical appeal to girls (and certain guys) than he lets people on to believe, was recently caught going to a site on which users post pictures of themselves that are to be rated by other users. Research suggests that Eduardo's appeal, although not exactly easy to pinpoint or understand, has something to do with the fact that he is a foreigner; there is something exotic about him, something mysterious. [When the narrator finally reached the bazaar, he was overcome by vanity, realizing that his attempts to impress Mangan's sister were...(ha-ha, Gifted English joke)]. Either way, eye witnesses saw the alleged exchange student consistently checking the site with an evident air of narcissism. Sure he seemed like an innocent person, but he was playing that card with a plan in mind.

Perhaps it was his plan to come and conquer all along. Sources claim to have documents dating back to 2003 that appear to be calculations of Eduardo's "exchange to Canada". The truth in the matter is his exchange was an extensively planned scam on his part. Knowing the weak minds of girls [and select males] that fall for foreigners, he planned his exchange to Canada, borrowing money for lunch and for snacks. Sure, individually, those amounts seem like nothing, but collectively, our undercover reporters have calculated that Eduardo (codename: FES) leeched a remarkable $154.87 off his unknowing peers and mindless followers.

Included in his plan of domination, Eduardo was planning to sneak several other items back to Spain. The list includes a cactus, two chauffeur uniforms, a sugarbowl, and a innappropriate article of clothing.

He fooled countless people, but now he's gone and now you know, his feet of clay have dried to dust.

English With Gill. Again.

2006-11-09T14:32:00.000-08:00

Woo, making posts is quite enjoyable. I hope Wes doesn't mind. If he does, meh.

The word in question was monotheism.

Gill said, "its likee .. havingg .. ONE point of view :) and like only seeing things .. one sidedly ? :S"

Ignoring the innocent-looking :) , I broke the news to her. It actually means the belief that there is only one god.

"-( i was close "

Transferring emoticons onto here is kinda weird.

by Not Dennis

PostSecret

2006-11-06T19:03:00.001-08:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. New postcards are posted every Sunday. http://www.postsecret.com/

Quote of That Day

2006-11-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. "

- Winston Churchill, in response to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!'

PostSecret

2006-10-30T17:24:00.000-08:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. New postcards are posted every Sunday. http://www.postsecret.com/

PostSecret

2006-10-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. New postcards are posted every Sunday. http://www.postsecret.com/

2006-10-22T17:59:00.000-07:00

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle

PostSecret

2006-10-22T17:56:00.000-07:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. New postcards are posted every Sunday. http://www.postsecret.com/

English With Gill: acaricide

2006-10-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

The word Gill was asked to define was acaricide.

Gill said: "car...a place where broken cars are taken"

It actually means: "a substance used to kill mites"

Quote Of That Day

2006-10-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

Introducing...

2006-10-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Steroids On A Stick has a couple things lined up to publish. There's the article about the exchange student Eduardo, and the others are some "columns" that are in development.

"Say Word" tackles slangs and sayings.

Watch as celebrity writer Gillian Stanwick tries to guess the meanings of long words.

Quotations, but not quite daily. We'd run out in a week.

Have any ideas? Comment

Colourful Confusion

2006-10-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

Despite the reliability of the report we made about the impromptu wedding between JJ Edwards and Riah. It turns out that JJ Edwards is actually in a relationship with the man that is in the in the picture of the man on the right. Not really shocking, but definitely different fron the report we made earlier.

Get A Job!

2006-10-02T16:24:00.001-07:00

Close friends of Gillian Stanwick were suspiciously blocking the view of her face as she walked around town over the weekend. Steroids On A Stick followed the lead, hoping it was a story. A group of teenagers claim to have the medical documents filed when Gillian Stanwick checked into a plastic surgery clinic. Following yet another lead, SOAS reporters pounced on the opportunity and went to question Stanwick about her alleged nosejob. When the reporters encountered the diva, she told them to "f*ck off and get a job", covering her face as she pranced away quickly. Her statement ironic, yes?

P.S. Backpack strap and purse clash. Failure.